1. If the mountains are on your left, you’re going north. If the mountains are on your right, you’re going south. If the mountains are dead ahead, you’re going west. If the mountains are behind you, you’re heading for Kansas. 2. Zebulon P ike never climbed Pikes Peak. - 3. When you live in Colorado Springs, all your friends and relatives will come visit you. Even casual acquaintances you haven’t seen in 15 years.
- 4. Colorado Springs gets about 300 days of sunshine a year.
- 5. The other 65 days occur when you have out-of-town guests who have heard about the 300 days of sunshine.
6. Central air conditioning is not a standard housing feature in Colorado Springs. 7. Wahsatch and Sawatch are not the same street spelled backwards. 8. If you are a golfer, your drives will carry farther. So will your slice. 9. Use special high-altitude tennis balls, or you won't get a first serve all day. 10. Take ALL weather forecasts with a grain of salt. 11. If you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes. There will be a day in the next year when you experience all four seasons within 24 hours. Honest! 12. Your favorite cake will come out of the oven looking like your pickup ran over it. Get a high-altitude cookbook. 13. Try not to laugh when someone tells you that they live on Teeter Totter Circle, Nevermind Lane, or Serendipity Drive. 14. If you really want to sound like a native, pronouce Pueblo "pee-eb-lo" and Cucharras "kuh-chair-us", not Cucarrachas, that old favorite Mexican song about cockroaches. We don't have cockroaches here. Not even in songs. 15. Airport Road does not go to the airport. 16. Fountain Blvd does not go to Fountain. 17. Palmer Park Blvd does not go to Palmer Park. 18. Circle Rd does not circle the city. 19. Academy Blvd does go to the Air Force Academy. Eventually. 20. For the first few months you live here, you'll find yourself arriving early for work, concerts, and social engagements. You can get almost anywhere in 20 minutes or less, computerized traffic lights not withstanding. 21. Colorado Springs traffic lights are "coordinated" by a computer. 22. At 6,000 feet altitude, the sun feels stronger and your lungs feel weaker. 23. You'll also get less mileage from a gallon of gas and more from a Martini. Go easy. 24. People who don't live here think everyone is an expert skier. Let them. 25. Wear a down vest (a must in the winter) and hiking boots (the bigger the better). |